::
“OK, Hilde…I dare you to tell us what you REALLY think of Duo and his
attitude!” ::
*Gasp*
“…but
I picked truth, not dare!”
::
“awww…same difference! Now SPILL!” ::
All
of the girls (yes, even Cathy over in her corner with Trowa…they had suddenly
paused their game-boy playing at the group gasp) leaned forward toward Hilde as
she glanced from Duo, back to the Author, back to Duo, and so-forth.They all had those eager-for-gossip looks on their faces.The boys just rolled their eyes, but, too, seemed interested in what
Hilde was going to say (Especially Duo!).Dorothy snored.
“I
hafta be totally honest?”
:
“YES!” :shouted all the girls,
even the Author, in unison.Duo,
still hiding in his sleeping bag, began to look a little nervous.
“Well,
truthfully, I think he’s-.”
::
“WHOAH! Dang, girl….I wanna keep this fic at a PG/PG-13 rating,
thank-you-very-much!” ::
Hilde’s
eyes when wide. “Y-you mean…you’re an…OMNIPOINT author?!?”
::Whistles
innocently::
*Silence*
Far
away from the land of fanfiction, in a place called NY, USA (where I’m from
*^_^*), three girls were having a sleepover.
“Pass
me the chips, Miellie.” Ashy said.Just
as the chips (mmmmm….potato chips…::starts drooling::) were passed, the girls
suddenly heard something:
They
looked up for a minute, as if trying to figure out where the sudden scream had
come from, then back at each other
“Jen
must’ve told them she was omni point!” Ashy said.
“Yeah.”
The two burst into laughter, but stopped when Miellie brought up an interesting
question.
“Where’s
Rachy?” she asked, noticing the third girl’s absence.They started looking around for their comrad.It was then that Ashy noticed something else missing.
“Have
you seen the mint milanos?” she asked.Miellie
turned around from searching the closet (without luck).
“Um….the
large bag?”
“Yeah.”
“not
lately.” Suddenly, Miellie’s eyes went wide. “You don’t think…”
All
of a sudden, a burst of hysterical giggling came from the hallway outside the
room.The two remaining girls
looked at each other.Ashy spoke
up first.
“Oh…my…god…”
::covering
hands with ears:: :: “Are you finished?” ::
“Yes.”
Everyone said in unison.
::sweatdropps,
but removes hands from ears::
“Hey…you’re
not an anime character…how come you can sweatdrop too?” Duo asked
::
“Are you just trying to change the subject so I’ll forget about Hilde’s Truth?”
::
“um…no.”
:: “liar” ::
“ How
do you…nevermind.”
::
“HA! And to answer your question…I can sweatdrop and do all those things cuz
I’m the AUTHOR and said so…DUH!” ::
“…and
so modest, too!” wu-wu muttered.
“WU-WU!?!?
WHAT THE ****’S UP WITH THAT?”
::
“LANGUAGE!” ::
“
**** your ‘language’! First it was ‘wuffie’, now it’s wu-wu!”
“Wufei!”
Sally exclaimed.
“Stay
out of this, onna!” he screamed at her, then turned back to the Author, “I’ve
HAD it with all these weak names, this stupid fic, and YOU!”
::Filing
nails while ignoring wu-wu’s spazzing out::
“Pay
attention when I’m speaking to you!”
::
“Give me one good reason why I should!” :: ::Blows on nails::
“GAH!
That does is!” he screamed, before storning off into another part of the house.
::rolls
eyes:: :: “He’ll be back before the end of the chapter!” ::::glances around the room::
Duo
is still in his sleeping bag, but has moved into a more comfortable position
(lying on his stomach with his head resting on his folded arms), Hilde’s
sitting on a chair close to him, Heero’s occupying one of the recliner chairs,
Relina’s sitting on the floor at his feet, cross-legged, Trowa & Cathy have
abandoned the game-boys and were trading cards…but had paused to watch the
fireworks, Quatre’s sitting on the couch with Kari, who had her feet up on the
couch next to her and her head on Quatre’s shoulder, and Sally was
sitting on the floor by the door with ‘wu-wu’ (::snickers::), until he had
stormed off.Dorothy was being
all but ignored off to the side of the room, still unconscious and still
snoring.All were silent, and had
paused during the ‘show’.
“If
he doesn’t get lost!” Quatre replied to the Author’s comment.
::
“Good point….go after him, Sally.” ::
Sally’s
eyes went wide at the suggestion, “Why me?”
::
“cuz you’re his girlfriend, not me!” :: :: “*mutters*thank god!” ::
“NANI!?!
Says who?”
::
“Almost every fanfiction author I know” ::
“Yeah,
but…if you relied on those people…Heero would be paired with Duo!” she
protested.Duo’s eyes widened,
while Heero raised an eyebrow (Mr. Emotion, ain’t he?).Everyone else gasped.
(*note:
in reality, I *do* tolerate yaoi, and have nothing whatsoever against yaoi
fans, so I apologize if this cheesy fic-reference offends anyone.)
“Auuuggghhh!
Make her stop! I’m sorry- I promise!” Sally screamed.
::
removes hands from ears::
::
“Will you go after him now?” ::
“Do
I have a choice?”
::
“no” ::
“Ugh…fine.”She got up and proceeded to go search for ‘wu-wu’
::
“Now then…where were we?” :: ::turns back to those still remaining::
“Uhh…it
was Hilde’s turn to Truth or Dare someone!” Duo quickly volunteered
“But
Hilde never gave her answer!” Cathy pointed out (Ahhh…she was listening to the
game the entire time…interesting…).Then,
she quickly ran behind her brother to escape the glares coming from Shingami
and his girlfriend.
::
“Oh, yeah…come on, Hilde, spill! And keep the rating of this fic PG if ya don’t
mind!” ::
Hilde
blushed as she muttered, “I think…mmphdinlermph”
::
“…whaaaa?” ::
Duo
tried to surpress a giggle as he said, “Wazzzzuuuuuuuuuup!”
::
“Uggghh!I’ll NEVER understand
guys’ obsession with that commertial” ::
“It’s
funny!” All the guys said at once, with Duo the loudest of them all
::rolls
eyes:: ::“Whatever….now…WHAT did you say, Hilde?” ::
“…I
said…I think he’s really sweet and all, but…can be a pain in the ***
sometimes…”
::
“SOMETIMES?” ::
“OK,
okay…often!”
::
“ There now, was that so bad?” ::
“Yes.”
She muttered as Duo glared at her
::
“Oh, well…your turn!” ::
“Anyone
else notice how many pages it’s take to get through Hilde’s Truth alone?”
Relina suddenly brought up.
::
“Your point?” ::
“At
this rate…this fic will go on forever!”
::
“…and that’s a bad thing?” ::
“YES!”
everyone exclaimed.Dorko snorted
in response
::
“Humph! You people are impossible! Where’s my all-controlling, omnipoint
laptop?” ::
“NANI!?!?!”
::searching
for laptop:: :: “I keep it in case of poor-behaving-anime-character
emergencies” ::
Sweatdropping.
Then…
“Where’s
Quatre?”
“…and
Kari?”
::comes
out from under desk:: :: “I dunno” ::
“We’re
dropping like flies!”
“I
haven’t seem them since Sally went after Wufei!”
“Maybe
they’re trying to find a way outta this nightmare!”
“Zzzzzzzzz(snort)zzzzzzzzzz…”
(guess who that was)
“….”
::
“Is that all you can say, Heero?” ::
“….”
::
“Guess so” ::
“IT’S
ALL THE AUTHOR’S FAULT! SHE’S OUT TO GET US!” Duo screamed.
“And
Dorothy’s still unconscious over there.” Relina added
::
“Only cuz I can’t kill her!” :: ::Glares at Heero, who simply shrugs::
“Where
did those two go, anyways?” Hilde wondered
Duo
chuckled, “Maybe they…”
::
“Ew-no! NO HENTAI! I AM only 15, ya know!” ::
“SHEESH!
So-rry!”
::
“Better be…” :: ::Goes back to searching under bed for laptop::
“What
are we gonna do until she finds that laptop and takes away the last of our
freedom?” Relina asked
::
“FOUND IT!” :: ::Triumphantly comes out from under bed, holding black laptop in
hands::
“Never
mind…” she added
::Giggling,
goes over to couch, and turns on laptop::
“…have
you been eating sugar?” Heero asked (He spoke!)
::holds
up large bag of chocolates (mmmm…chocolate…), and grins:: ::”Yup!”::
“Oy,
vey!” Duo exclaimed
“…be
thankful she’s not TOO hyper!” Hilde pointed out
::
“…not YET!” :: ::giggles from sugar rush::
“…oy,
vey!” Hilde exclaimed
“Hey,
that’s MY line!” Duo whined
“No,
it’s not!”
“Yes,
it is!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“NO!”
“YES!”
::
“Nope…I got it from ‘The Nanny’” ::
“Told
ya!”
“Oh,
be quiet!”
::
“This coming from YOU?!?” ::
“Har-har”
Everyone else started laughing until…
“Where’s
Trowa and Cathy?” Relina asked
“AUGH!
NOT AGAIN! IT’S THE AUTHOR! SHE’S BEHIND THIS! SHE’S OUT TO GET US ALL! SHE-.”
::
“Duo?” ::
“What?”
::
“Shut up” ::
“B-but….it’s
all YOUR fault!Our rights are
being invaded here!”
::
“What rights?You’re all ANIME
CHARACTERS!” ::
“So?We shouldn’t hafta stand here while you do unspeakable torture to us
because it’s just not fai-“
Just
then, Trowa ran into the room.
“Pikachu,
u here?”
Silence.
“Come
out-come out wherever you are!I’ll
find you!” He screamed as he goes running into another room (they’re playing
hide-and-seek).
::
“You were saying?” ::
“uhh…never
mind”
::
“That’s what I though..…ahh, all booted up and ready to go!” :: ::starts
clicking on keyboard::
*All
characters obey the Author, stop running off, and come back.*
…nothing
happens.
::
“…Dang! This thing must be busted again!” :: ::throws laptop across the room;
it lands on the bed::
All
remaining characters let out the giant breath they had been holding.
“Now
what?” Hilde asked.
“umm…”
::
“Well, let’s see…I certainly can’t tell you what’s going on with wu-wu and
sally cuz I can’t even pronounce half the words coming outta that boy’s
mouth, let alone spell ‘em…I’m gonna keep it a secret for now what Kari and
Quatre are up to…” ::
“Meaning
she don’t know” Duo muttered
::
“Ya know, I can always put back in the chair” ::
“Eeep!”
he pulled the covers over his head in fear
::
“I know! I’ll have you guys MST a fic! I’ve got the perfect one, too!”
::
“…meaning
she’s run out of gags!” Duo mumbled from under the blanket
::
“I’ve got the rope right here, Duo.” ::
“…like
I said: Great Idea!” he quickly exclaimed, still under the blanket
::
“That’s better…Hey, Quatre! Kari!” ::
“Yes?”
They replied in unison as they suddenly appear in the room
“How
does she DO that?” Relina whispered to Hilde
“Beats
me.”
::
“We’re bored, so we’re gonna MST a fic, ‘k?” ::
They
both nodded in agreement as they took a seat near the others.All of a sudden, Dorko woke up
“Huh?
Whaa? What’s going on?” she asked, while holding her head where the Author hit
her (::snickers::)
::is
about to knock her out again, but had a better idea:: ::[insert evil grin
here]::
::
“You’re gonna MST a fic” ::
“Oh…okay”
she sat down near the others
“What
about popcorn?” Duo asked as he stuck his head out
::
“Picky-picky!” :: ::bowl of popcorn appears in front of Duo::
“What…no
butter?”
::
“Don’t push your luck! You best be thankful I didn’t put poison in it!” ::
Duo
looks in the popcorn carefully “You didn’t…did you?”
::
“not yet!” ::
“Eeep!
It’s fine just the way it is!”
::
“That’s better…I’ve got the fic for you guys right here…roll ‘em!” ::
“Who’s
she talking to?” Hilde whispered.Relina
shrugged (Hilde had abandoned the chair, and was now sitting next to Relina on
the floor, BTW)
“A Day in the Life of a Pokemon” by-
::
“Whoa-whoa-whoa! Who’s been messin’ with my fic files?!?!?!” ::
All
turn to look at Trowa.
“What?”
he asked, as if nothing was wrong.
“POKEMON?”
Duo exclaimed
::
“Grr….i’ll hafta fix this and move on to the REAL fic…..Take two!” ::
“Misty
and Ash’s First Date” by-
::
“………TROWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ::
“It
wasn’t me this time! I swear! I don’t even like that couple!” he pleads
Everyone
sweatdropps at his attempted alibi
::
“Then who-” ::
Cathy
whistles innocently
::
“CATHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ::
“What?”
“I’ve
said it before, and I’ll say it again……………. POKEMON?” Duo exclaimed again
::
“Grrr….Now I hafta fix this AGAIN! Will you two STAY OUT OF MY MSTING
FILES!!!!! Ahem…..Take Three!” ::
“When Pokemon come out and attack the fanfic authors
who make fun of them” by-
Needless
to say, nobody has much to say about this one; a cricket chirps somewhere in
the background.
::“OK…who’s the wise guy this time?!?!?!?!?!” ::
Both
Cathy and Trowa look away and whistle innocently.
::
“GAAAHHHH! THAT DOES IT, YOU TWO!!!!!” ::::Both Cathy and Trowa suddenly find themselves tied up in back-to-back
chairs, much as Duo was before::
Everybody
else cheers madly
::takes
a bow:: :: “Thank you, thank you! Now, without furthur interruptions” ::
::glares at the chair’s latest ‘victims’:: :: “I present to you……Take Four: The
REAL fic!”::
(The
fic is Italisized……please ignore my spelling……and I’ve changed the quote style
so it’s easier for me to type, and for you to understand.Now that we’ve cleared THAT up……back to the fic)
This
fic was inspired by the drinking game “I’ve Never”
Relina:
…which explains the title
, in
which participants state something they've never done:
Hilde:
….which explains the name of the game
"I've never watched Gundam Wing for eight hours solid", and
anyone who HAS done this, has to drink (a mouthful, it is not necessary to
empty the glass :-).
By the way, if anyone were ever to use that statement in a game of I've
Never,
Duo: they’d be violating copyright laws, because these authors said
it first
both Orla and myself
Duo: who’s “myself”? I thought there were only two authors
Quatre: I
think the second author’s typing, and using first person.
Duo:
…huh?
Quatre:…never
mind
would have to drink. :-)
Disclaimer:
Hilde:
a.k.a. the “don’t sue me!” paragraph
We don't own Gundam Wing or the characters... although we wish we did.
Gundam Wing is the property of its creators who are wonderful people for
producing such an amazing series - We love you guys! (And the Gundam boys too!
(^_-).
G-boys: (sweatdrop) riiiight
G-girls: (deathglare)
We're making no money from this fic. Don't bother suing us, we spent all
our money on anime!
---------------------------------------------
Duo: …I think that means the actual fic is starting…..
Everyone: (settles in their seats, Duo holding a BIG bowl of popcorn)
"Hi, Sally!" Hilde beamed as she opened the door. "I'm
glad you and Wufei could make it!"
Sally grinned.
"Well, it's been pretty quiet lately so I thought we could use an evening
of relaxation."
Heero:
then what are they doing at the Maxwell residence?
"_You_
thought that!" grumbled Wufei beside her. "_I_ on the other hand
think that this is a _stupid_ idea and..."
"Oh, don't
be such a sore loser!" said Sally as they stepped inside. "You lost,
I won, we're here."
Wufei scowled.
"I know you rigged the cards!"
Hilde:
(rolls her eyes) of course…he finally gets beaten by a girl, and immediately
assumes she cheated!
Sally blinked.
"How do you rig the cards in a game of Snap?!"
Kari:
actually, It’s pretty easy; first, you hafta shuffle them so that you will
easily get each card you wish when dealing, then make sure you’re the one to
distrubute the cards, making sure that you get the exact cards you want.Next, make sure that you place the two major decks slightly closer to
you for easier disposal.Or you
could just not put a card down if you have it, just in case you have more cards
lined up in a row in another “Snap”
Everyone else:
(stares at Kari)
Quatre:
…where did you learn this?
Kari:
I saw it on a “secrets revealed” show one night about card tricks and games
Hilde giggled
and led them through to the living room. "You guys are the lucky last,
everyone else turned up more or less on time."
Heero:
even Duo?
Duo:
well, it _is_ my house
Heero:
still….
"Sorry,"
said Sally. "But it wasn't MY fault. You know all that garbage about women
never running to time?
Hilde/Sally/Kari:
(in unison) of course…a man said it.
Well, whoever
came up with that has never had to wait for Wufei to do his hair!"
"I
know," sighed Hilde. "Duo... just takes HOURS! And that's when _I_
help!"
Duo:
Hey!I don’t take _that_ long!
Hilde:
…yes, you do
And on that
note,
Quatre:
…set in the key of “C”
she opened the
living room door.
"Wufei!
Sally!" Quatre Raberba Winner
Quatre:
(sighs) why must people always use my middle name, too?
Heero:
because they’re considered talented if they can actually spell it right
stood
up in excitement. "Welcome! It's so good to see you again!"
"Hey guys!
What's up?" Duo Maxwell waved from the couch where he was sitting beside
Heero Yuy, who contented himself with a glare in their direction, and Relena
Darlian,
Duo:
so now it’s back to “Darlian”?No
offense, ‘Jousan, but can you make up your mind? Peacecraft, or Darlian?
Relina:
Technically, it’s both….Peacecraft is my birth name, but Darlian is my adopted
name
Duo:
good point
who
smiled and bowed her head.
Catherine Bloom
and Trowa Barton
Quatre:
,brother and sister, even though they have two different last names
were sitting on
the window seat, heads bowed over a small computer, minds frantically working
to accomplish a single goal, their mission desperate.
Duo:
Finding a way to stop all Authors and Authoresses!
Duo:
Is there ANY fic out there where those two AREN’T obsessed with Pokemon?
Quatre:
yeah, but Trowa’s either taken a vow of silence, or he’s Shakesperian
Duo:…That
kid’s not normal, I tell you!
"Sorry
about that," said Hilde apologetically. "Ever since Pokemon: Teal
came out no one's been able to get them to stop."
Hilde:
Wait a sec….(counts the number of games there are now)
Gold…Silver…Red….Blue….Yellow………there’s no teal, unless…..
Duo:
Noooooooo! Not _MORE_ Pokemon games! It’s taking over the world!!!!
Everyone Else:
(sweatdropps, but also agrees with him somewhat)
"Gotta
catch em all," said Trowa. "Must catch them all... Must... Ninmu
ryokai..."
Heero raised an
eyebrow.
Duo:
…the first sign of life he’s shown all night
At that moment
Dorothy Catalonia came in from the kitchen, carrying a plate. "Hordeuvres,
anyone?" she asked.
"What
does she think this is?" muttered Hilde. "A restaurant?"
Duo:
(Dorothy)….you mean it’s not?
Dorothy:
Hey!
Sally looked at
Hilde, "I'm surprised you invited her .I thought you didn't get
along."
"We
don't," said Hilde. "And she invited herself
along with Relena."
Relina:
hmmm…._that_ sounds familiar…….
"Oh."
Duo stood up.
"Hey everyone, gather round, gather round... Catherine, Trowa... PLEASE
put that down...
Duo:
Hey…that rhymes!
Hilde:
(rolls her eyes) _very_ observant, Duo
Now,
you're probably all wondering why we invited you all over.
Everyone:
not really….
Well, tonight is
the anniversary of when Hilde and I first met, and we decided to do something
fun."
"Oh
God," said Wufei. "I KNEW this was a bad idea."
Duo:
But he thinks _anything_ social is a bad idea!
"Oh shut
up."
"We thought
we'd invite all our friends
Kari:
and Dorothy
... more or
less... around to play a game."
"A
game????" asked Heero.
"I want
Pikachu!" demanded Catherine.
Duo:
You can have it; _I_ sure as heck don’t want it!
"NOT
Pokemon," said Duo. "A drinking game. You see, back when we were
fighting White Fang, I suggested that when we get back we all have some
champagne. But Mister I'm too innocent Winner,
Kari:
(rolls her eyes) Oh, come on, he’s not *that* innocent…
Everyone:
(turns and stares at Kari and Quatre, who is now blushing like mad)
Duo:
you mean to tell me….
Quatre:
NO!
Kari:
I didn’t mean it like that!
Duo: (eyeing
them warily) suuuuure you didn’t……..
Kari:
(turns to Hilde) Hilde, may I?
Hilde:
be my guest…..
Kari:
(gets up, and whacks Duo with Hilde’s mallet, which seems to come out of nowhere)
Duo:
OW!Dang, Q-man……she hits harder
than Hilde!
nixed
that, saying that we were underage."
"Well we
were!" said Quatre.
"So...
we're not anymore," said Duo. "Hilde, the champagne!"
Hilde:
(as fanfic self) What did you just call me?!?
"All of
it?"
"Yes."
"I can't
carry five crates by myself!!!" Hilde protested.
"Five...
crates????" said Relena. "Um... this is the sort of thing that gets
politicians into lots of trouble and I'm not ready to resign yet."
"Don't
worry Miss Relena, we're all friends here," said Dorothy.
Quatre:
this coming from the girl who stabbed me….
"Now I'm
worried," said Relena.
"Don't
worry about it," said Duo. "We have a jamming field on, and no
recording devices are going to be able to work through it."
Heero:
(as Government Agents outside house with high-tech eavesdropping equipement)That’s what HE thinks…..
Dorothy and
Sally grimaced, *Damn.*
The champagne
was lugged in, and the first bottles were poured. Everyone sat around in a circle,
and Duo began
Duo:
(gets up, and taps Hilde on the head) Duck….(taps Relina) Duck…..(taps Quatre)
Duck…..(taps…er….avoids the blonde girl who still has the mallet in her hand,
and taps Dorothy) Duck……(taps Heero) Goose!
Heero:
(Deathglareä)
Duo:
eep! (sits back down in a hurry).
"The
rules are quite simple. We go around in a circle, and each person says
something they've never done. Like, uh, 'I've never kicked the wall impotently
when the computer didn't work'."
"Duo!"
screamed Hilde.
"OR like 'I've
never eaten a live rat'," Duo amended hastily.
G-girls:
oh, yuck!!!
Duo:
but, as we all know, this is a FANFIC, and therefore, NOT REAL, meaning I have
NEVER eaten a live rat…..understand?
"Then,
anyone who HAS done that thing, has to drink. NOT the whole glass, unless you
want to, but slightly more than a sip. Any questions?"
Quatre:
what did the rat taste like?
Duo:
I wouldn’t know, considering I’VE NEVER REALLY DONE THAT!!!!!!
"Is it too
late to leave?" Wufei asked.
"Yes, the
doors are locked and we know where you live."
Sally nudged
Wufei, "Just relax for once."
Relina:
_that_’ll be the day!
"I will go
first," Duo declared. "I have thought long and hard for this
one."
Heero:
wow…Duo started thinking?
Duo:
aww…shadup
Everyone waited
with bated breath.
Hilde:
and, in a sudden twist of events, decided to go fishing, using our breath as
bait
"I have
never punched a friend in the stomach and had them locked in prison." Duo
said.
Duo:
yeah! (glares at Heero)
Heero:
(knowing all-too-well how to handle this, simply glares back)
Duo:
(realizing there’s no way of winning this one, and that his opponent just might
kill him, quickly turns his attention back to the fanfic)
Hilde:
(softly, to Relina) Heero: one million, Duo: one
Relina:
(softly, to Hilde) one?
Hilde:
pity point…::snickers::
Trowa and Heero
looked at each other. "Still carrying a grudge about that I see,"
said Heero, as they both reached for their glasses.
Hilde was next.
"I've never asked the one I'm in love with to come and kill me."
Duo:
*coughrelinacough*
Relina:
(blushes)
Relena blushed
and sipped delicately as everyone grinned at her.
Next was Trowa's
turn.
Heero:
If this has _anything_ to do with Pokemon…..
"I've never
had my Gundam blown up by others," he said quietly.
"You LOST
it once," pointed out Wufei.
Duo:yes; he’s lost his Gundam once, _BUT_, he’s lost his mind, not once, but
twice!First, he lost it to
amnesia….and then, he lost it to Pokemon….
"Doesn't
count."
Duo scowled.
"Well, MINE wouldn't have been blown up if it hadn't been for a certain
SOMEONE in this very room!"
Duo:
yeah….(glares at Trowa)
Trowa smiled as
the four other Gundam pilots drank their drinks.
Quatre:
waitasec……I never did…..
Duo:
Plotholes, Q-man…Plotholes
Then it was
Catherine's turn.
"I've never
sat inside a Gundam," she said.
The five pilots
reached for their drinks.
Kari:
Well _that_ was a given….
So did Sally,
Hilde and Relena.
"WHAT???!!!"
screamed Wufei. Duo blushed and so did Relena
Quatre:
I wonder why they blushed….
Kari:
(reading ahead and snickering) I know why…
Quatre:
(peeks over her shoulder) …oh…my….
"Don't
worry, it wasn't Nataku," Sally said, drinking.
Duo:
(Sally) It was your Gundam
"But... I
just HAD to have a look and there was Heavyarms just SITTING there."
Trowa raised an
eyebrow.
"Hmph,"
said Wufei. "My turn, let's see. I've never cheated at cards!" he
glared at Sally, who didn't move towards her glass. Unlike Duo, Dorothy and
Catherine.
Trowa raised
BOTH his eyebrows at Catherine, who smiled and looked away. "You don't
know EVERYTHING about me little brother," she said
Duo:
I should _hope_ not!
Hilde:
DUO!
Duo: (innocently)
what?
Kari: (to
Hilde) here ya go…(hands her the mallet)
Hilde:
thank you, Kari (whacks Duo over the head)
Duo:
ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
.
"It would
appear not. Sally?"
Sally composed
her thoughts. "Hmmm... I've never tried to kill my friends."
Wufei, Heero,
Quatre and Dorothy reached for their drinks.
Duo:
Okay, that’s impossible…how could _she_ try to kill her friends when she never
had any?
Quatre:
…..speaking of….where did she go, anyways?
Kari:
(looks away and whistles innocently; no one notices, though)
Hilde held up
her hand. “Does it count if you weren’t friends before, but became so later?”
"Er...
Yes," said Sally.
Duo and Hilde
both drank.
Duo was
beginning to look somewhat flushed.
Hilde:
since when did anybody give him a swirly?
Relina:
(snickers)
Next was Heero's
turn. "I've never danced round in my underwear, singing."
Duo
groaned and reached for his glass.
All but Duo: (bursts
out laughing)
Duo:
(spits out mouthful of popcorn) WHAT?!?!?!?!?
So did Relena.
Everybody:
(stops laughing and stares at Relina)
"Miss
Relena?" gasped Dorothy.
"I was
six!" said Relena defensively.
"Awww...
that must have been so cute," said Quatre.
Kari: (whacks
Quatre over the head)
Quatre:
ITAI! Not fair!
Kari: that’s
what you get
Duo: (snickers)
Hilde:
(whacks him with the mallet)
Duo: OW!
HIL-DE!
Relena blushed,
then Hilde tapped her shoulder and handed her a photo. "Duo doesn't have
your age excuse." she said. Relena looked at the photo and giggled.
Heero:
so there _is_ such a thing as Karma….
Duo:
(still grasping head in pain) what do you mean by that?
"Hey!!!"
complained Duo. "No fair! You're all picking on me," he hiccuped.
"Well that's just FINE!"
He fished a
photo out of his jacket pocket and handed it around to everybody. It was a
lovely "early morning" shot of Hilde.
"Ummm...
not a morning person I take it?" asked Dorothy.
"DUO!!!!"
shouted Hilde.
Duo:
(quickly runs out of the room before Hilde can whack him again)
"Relena,
you're up!" shouted Sally, trying to head off the carnage.
Relena tried to think of something no one could ever have done.
"I've never used whipped cream for anything other than food."
Relina: not true…
Kari: food fights don’t count
Duo: (slithers back into the room, and sits FAR away from Hilde)
Hilde and Duo
paled. "How did you..." they both stopped and reached for their
drinks.
Hilde:
Okay…..NOW these authors are going TOO far…..
So did Trowa and
Catherine.
Everyone:
….no, NOW they’ve gone too far!
"Trowa???
Catherine???" shrieked Quatre.
"We work in
the circus Quatre," reminded Trowa. "I am a clown!
Little Brother
of Author:
(runs into the room with GIANT mallet---even bigger than Hilde’s) Clowns?Where? (sees Trowa)…..(screams like a girl)……(Faints, wakes up, then
runs over, and bonks him over the head with the mallet…..the mallet just
squeaks on contact)…….(turns to Reader)…hehe…it goes ‘squeak!’…..(runs back out
of the room, apparently frightened, and muttering) I hate clowns, I hate
clowns, I hate clowns, I hate clowns…..(continues muttering this, while going
to get a Capri Sun to drink)……..
G-Gang:…
Relina:
o…k….
Custard, whipped cream, chocolate mousse - I've thrown em
all."
"Mmmmm...
chocolate mousse," said Sally who had been sneaking sips at her glass
between rounds. Wufei regarded her with a look of horror.
Duo: (Wufei) You stole my drink!
"My turn,
my turn," said Dorothy. She shot Trowa a penetrating glance. "I've
never slept with Quatre."
Quatre/Kari:
Damn right!
Everybody:
(stares at Quatre and Kari)
Trowa merely
stared at her whilst Quatre sputtered and choked. Dorothy looked disappointed,
and faintly relieved. So, there was hope after all.
Kari:
(Glaring at the fanfic Dorothy while getting the possessive-girlfriend look in
her eyes) Not. A. Chance. In. Hell………
Quatre ground
his teeth. How could she? This meant war!
Everybody:
(whining) A-GAIN ?!?!?
"My
turn!" he said. "I've NEVER crept NAKED into another person's room to
try and seduce them with my feminine wiles!” He shuddered at the thought
Everybody:
….
Quatre:
(turning a slight shade of green)
Kari:
(A cross between the Zero System look and Deathglare in her eyes)
Dorothy turned
on him, infuriated. "How could you..." she drank from her glass.
Quatre:
(runs out of the room...moments later, vomiting sounds can be heard coming from
the bathroom)
Duo:
Poor kid….everything happens to him just because Dorothy is considered his
Female counterpart
Kari:
(Glaring at Duo) What?!?
Duo:
(in partial fear) I didn’t necessarily mean his girlfriend….it’s like Me and
Hilde, Heero and Relina, Trowa and Cathy, Wufei and Sally……..female counterpart,
only in her exception, she’s evil…..
Kari:
(calming down a little, and content with glaring at the fanfic)
Quatre:
(wearily comes back into the room, sitting back down next to Kari)
"And here I
thought you were the weak one.
Heero:
apparently, she’s never met Zero-system Quatre…..
It's
time to show you the true glory of war!"
Everyone tried
real hard not to think about this.
Everyone:
(trying real hard to do the same)…………..
"Back to
the beginning,"
Everybody:
noooooooo! It…just….won’t….end!
said
Duo. "Hmmm... I've never..."
***
Several more
rounds passed, as more and more secrets came out.
"I've never
had sex in zero g," hiccuped Sally.
Duo and Hilde
sighed and reached for their glasses.
Duo/Hilde:
I _swear_ these authors have it in for us!!!
"How the
hell did you know about that?" demanded Duo.
Hilde sniffed.
"Sally, I thought you'd keep that a secret!"
"Ooops,
sorry..."
Wufei sighed.
"I've never had sex in..." his mind wandered.
"A Gundam."
Duo:
(snickers, and is about to make a remark)
Hilde:
(is to far away, so she chucks the mallet at him)
Duo:
XoX
Kari:
…….good aim
Hilde:
thank you
Heero and Relena
went bright red and picked up their glasses
Heero/Relina:
…………………………………….
"Oh you're
kidding..."
Everyone:
(realizing they have yet to comment, stares at Heero and Relina……eyes WIDE
open)
Relina:
(gasping for air)
Heero:
(Deathglare, and cocks out his gun)
Everyone:
(quickly turns away, not wishing to die)
Duo and Hilde
looked at each other, "Why didn't we think of that?" Duo asked.
"Prob'ly
cos it would be too cramped," said Hilde. "I mean, where would you
put..."
"SHUT UP!
SHUT UP!" screamed Wufei, Heero and Relena.
***
"I've never
sneaked a kiss on the object of my affection," said Catherine.
There was a mass
movement towards the glasses as Hilde, Relena, Dorothy, Quatre, and Sally all
moved forwards.
Duo:
Hmmm……only the girls drank on that one……..
Quatre:
Hey!I did, too!
Duo:
Like I said, only the girls……
Hilde:
(sighs, hand mallet to Quatre)
Quatre: (Zero-Sytem
Look, heads towards Duo)
Duo:
(shrieks, then runs out of the room, Quatre on his heels, in terror)
Hilde:
(shaking her head) you’d think he’d learn by now…….
Kari:
or at least break the mallet……
"Hmmmm..."
Duo/Quatre:
(come back running into the room, Duo still screaming)
Kari: Quatre…..
Quatre:
(stops) what?
Kari:
As much as I’d love to see you bash his head in…..SIT!
Quatre:
yes’m (goes and sits back down)
Duo:
(snickers, until Hilde pulls in down into sitting position by his braid)
Hilde:
that goes for you, too…..or next time, we’ll LET him catch you!
However, this
was soon dwarfed by Trowa's next statement.
"I've never
been insulted by Wufei," said Trowa.
Duo:
But that’s IMPOSSIBLE……Wufei insults EVERYONE……..
Heero:
(to Duo) but mostly you
Everyone but
Trowa and Wufei went for their glasses.
"What's
THAT supposed to mean!" Wufei demanded.
Duo:
just that he insults everybody……what’d you THINK it meant?
Sally patted his
shoulder. "Don'cha worry Wu-chan," she said. "We all know
that'sh how you show affection."
Relina/Hilde:
riiiiiight………
"Yes, we
noticed how you sculled your glass Sally," said Relena.
***
"I've never
kissed another person of the same sex," said Heero.
Everybody:
DOWN WITH YAOI! WHA-HOO!
Quatre and Trowa
exchanged glances, smiles, and glasses to drink.
